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Topics - Stitcherbob

Pages: 1 ... 7 8 [9]
General BS and Laughs / WILL IT BLEND?
« on: May 21, 2008, 08:07:19 PM »

Love this.....gotta get one for Snotty so he won't notice the shrimp aren't peeled....

stitcherbob2008-05-22 01:19:00

General BS and Laughs / Another Great Mopar Cartoon Today
« on: May 18, 2008, 08:04:43 AM »
Broom Hilda and the gang in another old Mopar

General Mopar Discussions / Chrysler's "Let's Refuel America"
« on: May 16, 2008, 07:44:00 AM »
This is the newest scam to get you to buy a new car during these tough times. Chrysler offers to protect you from high fuel costs for the next 3 years by keeping your gas price at $2.99. Sounds good, huh? Well do the math and read the fine print.
If gas stays at summertime high $3.57 or so then 2.99 sounds good. But the offer only works on most 08 and 09 Chrysler products and is given to the purchaser in the form of a gas card. It arrives some 4-6 weeks after you purchase your car. It comes with guidelines, rules and restrictions. It is valid only for 87 octane gas (higher grades incur extra charges to customer) and each vehicle has individual yearly allotment based on 12,000 miles per year and the adjusted combined average EPA city/highway mpg. The allotment ends each year on July 31st (2009,2010,2011) .....right around the summer driving season! The big kicker is that the savings is around $232.00 a year (based on a 30 mpg car, 12,000 miles a year, $3.57 a gallon gas) and the fine print says : "Program is in lieu of all factory & dealer incentives" !!!!

So, if you go with the program you can save a grand total of $696 instead of a coupla grand off from a dealer incentive....... and Chrysler will be using the absolute best fuel economy averages to calculate what you will be I hope you live somewhere  flat like Kansas!

General BS and Laughs / Newspaper Nonsense
« on: May 10, 2008, 07:39:16 PM »

from actual newspapers around the world....

From the Churchdown Parish Magazine:

"Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church, labelled 'For The Sick,' is for monetary donations only."

From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand:

'Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case."

From The Gloucester Citizen:

A sex line caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialling an 1- 900 number from an advertisement entitled 'Hear Me Moan' the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, 'He got what he deserved.'

From The Daily Telegraph:

In a piece headed "Brussels Pays 200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes": "The money will not be going directly into the prostitutes' pocket, but will be used to encourage them to lead a better life. We will be training them for new positions in hotels."

From The Derby Abbey Community News:

We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a defective in the police force.' This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a detective in the police farce.

From The Guardian:

After being charged 20 pounds for a 10 pounds overdraft, 30 year old Michael Howard of Leeds officially changed his name  to 'Yorkshire Bank Plc are Fascist Bastards.' The Bank has now asked him to close his account, and Mr Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p balance by cheque, made out in his new name.

From The Manchester Evening News:

An Austrian circus dwarf died recently when he bounced sideways from a trampoline and was swallowed by a hippopotamus. Seven thousand people watched as little Franz Dasch popped into the mouth of Hilda the Hippo and the animal's gag reflex forced it to swallow. The crowd applauded wildly before other circus people realized what had happened.

An Indian man who eight months ago decided to spend his life in a tree has died. He fell out of it.

An elderly woman at a unit for sufferers of senile dementia passed round a box of mothballs thinking that they were mints. Eleven people were taken to hospital for treatment.

Following drinking binge in Christchurch, New Zealand, Koto Salaki passed out - so his buddies stripped him and shaved off his eyebrows as a joke. Getting no reaction, they proceeded to cut off his ear and glue it onto his forehead. Doctors managed to sew it back on.

When 65-year-old Les Edwards shoveled some coal on to his living-room fire in January 1985, a sudden explosion rendered him deaf and blind. The mystery blast was traced to the accidental inclusion of a detonator in the coal mix. The National Coal Board admitted negligence.

Phreakers, or 'phone hackers,' managed to break into the telephone system of 'Weight Watchers' in Glasgow, and changed the outgoing message to 'Hello, you fat bastard.'

The defense in an Irish murder trial hung on whether the accused, Thomas McGann, could draw a gun from his pocket without shooting himself. Demonstrating in court, his lawyer shot his own foot, and died 12 hours later. McGann, however, was acquitted.

In April 1993, suspected drug dealer Alfred Acree tried to evade capture in Charles County, Virginia, by running into a wooded area. The police had no trouble following him because he was wearing a pair of 'Light Gear' trainer sneakers, with battery powered lights that flash when the heel is pressed.

During a 'smash and grab' on a Zurich jeweller in October 1980, a thief had his finger cut off by broken glass as he grabbed a tray of rings. The police identified the finger from their fingerprint records and arrested the thief within a few hours.

In Ireland, a man staggered into the emergency room of Belfast Hospital with a wind-up turtle attached to his testicles, explaining that his young son had dropped the toy into his bath. "A mechanical joint connected to his tender bits and jammed solid," a nurse said.

A totally wrecked cream-coloured Ford Orion was found at the bottom of a 100 foot cliff face near Scarborough in North Yorkshire early on the morning of 22nd June. It was thought to have left the road at a sharp bend between Osgodby and Cayton. There was no sign of the driver, but a pile of human excrement was found in the driver's seat.

 and, finally.....

A 20-year-old man was given a concrete enema by his mischievous lover. Surgeons had to meticulously remove the cast which, of course, formed the shape of a rectum, perfect in every respect except for the imprint of a ping-pong ball which was apparently used to retain the enema.

stitcherbob2008-05-11 00:45:34

« on: April 30, 2008, 09:12:59 PM »
Use this site to scope out gas prices in your area

MEMBERS Project Cars in Progress / Introducing...."BIG RED"
« on: April 24, 2008, 05:19:21 PM »

Errrr....on the right. Actually he's not looking so big now.....kinda put's C bodies in perspective huh?

Anyway, Steve's new project needed a name, introducing Big Red:

and here's the rig Mike brought him to Joisey on:

I didn't have time to push Big Red onto the tracks......oh well

General BS and Laughs / What Is The WORST Thing You Have Found...
« on: April 23, 2008, 05:55:27 PM »

......under the seats of your car? When you remove the seats (front or rear) and find all those Cheerio's that your kid lost 3 years ago, or that men's comb with the chewing gum on it stuck to the seatbelt webbing.....let's hear your findings!

I am going to throw the gaunlet out there .....can any of you top this one? I thought finding the family of 7 mummified rats in that 33 Chrysler I restored was the worst until.........

I took the front leather bucket seats out of my free 1991 Cad-illac Eldorado today. It's a nice car, but has some major water leaks i have to find. The carpets have been so wet for a while that there was algea growing under a front mat. Garbage was strewn under all seats, but what was there almost made me re-think being an upholsterer....

a little zip lock bag with a clear vial inside.....and inside that......a.....


stitcherbob2008-04-23 22:55:44

General BS and Laughs / yer Heart out!
« on: April 19, 2008, 07:06:01 PM »

Steve and I finally got the time to go get my free 91 Eldorado (CAN'T TYPE CA-D-ILLAC)
It's black with a black faux convertible top and an Antelope leather interior. Gold emblems, the top and some of the options make it a Spring Special package car.

It needs brake work, interior cleaning and a radio. The paint is losing it's clearcoat and the body damage on the driver's side looks worse than it is. Other than that it's pretty good overall.

Thanks again  Steve for helping me today!

stitcherbob2008-04-20 00:14:13

« on: April 12, 2008, 05:35:54 PM »

Boy oh boy.....Snotts is gonna hafta buy himself a
Wii game now that "Major League Eating" is a reality....I heard about it on NPR today

stitcherbob2008-04-13 00:12:17

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