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Author Topic: Jokes and senior sex facts  (Read 825 times)

Steve

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Jokes and senior sex facts
« on: March 25, 2014, 02:06:20 PM »

Figured the sex would make you look.



  The Jewish
  Elbow




A
Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to
visit with his wife.

"You
come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301 . There is a
big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you
in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow,
push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my
doorbell. OK?"

"Grandma,
that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?
.........

"What
. .. . .. .. You're coming empty handed?"

_______________________________________________

Wise
Italian Grandfather



An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside,
"Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ...38
revolver so you will always remember me."

"But
grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch
instead?"

"You
lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a
beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos.
"

"Somma
day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.
"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!'
"?



____________________________________________________





Irish blonde...



An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a
little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the
dice.

She
said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely
nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and
with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"



As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes!
Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings
and her clothes and quickly departed.

The
dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.





Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered,
"I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL
OF THE STORY

Not
all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb,

..... but all men...are men!



____________________________________________________

Global
Facts About Sex



At any given moment:

FACT:
79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.

FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.

FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.

FACT: 1 old person is reading emails.

You
hang in there, sunshine!

 
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