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Topics - Steve

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16
Jokes / Fits Most of us
« on: May 27, 2014, 06:49:37 AM »
Q: Where can single men over the age of 60 find
younger

women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through

menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish

the basement.  When you're done, you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the

bible... Is that true? Where can it be found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to

Egypt..."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60

year-old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those

wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems

with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds

when they enter antique stores?

A: "Gosh, I remember these!"





17
Jokes / Robot
« on: April 29, 2014, 02:49:22 PM »



18
General Mopar Discussions / Fun day at the Museum
« on: April 28, 2014, 05:05:04 PM »
Towed a 55 Imperial to the Museum up by Roger and brought back the 56 Adventurer.












POLARACO2014-04-28 22:36:10

19
General Mopar Discussions / Dodge Ram
« on: April 19, 2014, 04:46:37 PM »
OK  So my truck was sagging in the front and handling bumps sloppy.  A few weeks ago, I hit a crater on the highway at 65 that swallowed my truck.  It was getting done anyway.  I bought the parts already.  Lower Ball joints, bushings (The size of your fist) new Raybestos front springs, tie rod ends , 1 1/2 spacers, and 3 days with a press and a hot wrench.
Way more than I planned on
I messed up on the Picture, I didn't get the torn section and the missing chunk in the pic


Before


Look at the clearance over the front tires
 
Let me tell ya.  I got the crap beat out of me



20
Tech- - FUEL / Newport Gas Tank Question Snotty
« on: April 16, 2014, 08:47:57 PM »
Quote from: Snotty
Just put new Strut-rod bushings on the Grem - again!!  This time I used Moog two-piece ones, actually built for Mustang.  They are a lot stouter; hopefully they will last.


Not from Rock Auto, but I have bought them all over the place and they were fine.  The only problem I encountered was the locking rings on the sending units don't fit quite right.  Last one I did was Polaraco, so things may have changed


21
Jokes / Jokes and senior sex facts
« on: March 25, 2014, 02:06:20 PM »
Figured the sex would make you look.



  The Jewish
  Elbow




A
Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to
visit with his wife.

"You
come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301 . There is a
big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you
in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow,
push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my
doorbell. OK?"

"Grandma,
that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?
.........

"What
. .. . .. .. You're coming empty handed?"

_______________________________________________

Wise
Italian Grandfather



An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside,
"Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ...38
revolver so you will always remember me."

"But
grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch
instead?"

"You
lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a
beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos.
"

"Somma
day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.
"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!'
"?



____________________________________________________





Irish blonde...



An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a
little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the
dice.

She
said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely
nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and
with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"



As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes!
Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings
and her clothes and quickly departed.

The
dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.





Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered,
"I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL
OF THE STORY

Not
all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb,

..... but all men...are men!



____________________________________________________

Global
Facts About Sex



At any given moment:

FACT:
79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.

FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.

FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.

FACT: 1 old person is reading emails.

You
hang in there, sunshine!

 

22
General BS and Laughs / Guess what I found Snotty
« on: March 21, 2014, 05:52:21 PM »

I found a check for $50.00 from you from 50.00 of James Brown.  12-10-2007
Jerrell?

23
General BS and Laughs / Hey I got a buzz for you
« on: March 12, 2014, 07:56:49 PM »
"I can see the sea from my C"
What do ya think?

24
General BS and Laughs / Who's butt do I kick?
« on: March 11, 2014, 07:00:10 PM »
Made ya look?

25
Tech- - Engine / ArchOil Not Snake Oil
« on: February 26, 2014, 02:00:28 PM »


http://www.archoilcart.com/fueltreatment.aspx

Keep ya posted, but so far, it is extremely promising. You got to read their site. The're nice people and answer questions. I'm busting their buts about a push on the DuraJokes. Hey! What about us? LOL

26
Jokes / Wal-Mart
« on: January 31, 2014, 07:46:34 AM »
This sounds like stuff I would do.


Dear Mrs. Woolf,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our
store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our
complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented
by our video surveillance cameras": 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of
condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't
looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused
the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing
management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. August 4: Went to the
Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips. 6. August 14: Moved a
'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in
the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if
they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which
twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
Emergency Medics were called. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security
camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10:
While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while
loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto
department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of
funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 22: When an announcement came
over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S
THOSE VOICES AGAIN! 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked
where the fitting room was. And last, but not least: 16. October 23: Went into
a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly,
'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the Staff passed out.


27
Jokes / Canadian Street Gangs
« on: January 29, 2014, 02:55:55 PM »



28
General BS and Laughs / Another sad day for the trailer
« on: January 19, 2014, 06:53:11 PM »




29
Jokes / Santa
« on: January 08, 2014, 11:26:25 AM »



30
Site Questions and Announcements / Happy New Year
« on: January 01, 2014, 08:42:49 AM »
What more can I say?  

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