MoparFins

General BS and Laughs => Jokes => Topic started by: Stitcherbob on January 13, 2015, 03:21:44 PM

Title: Some of the best religious jokes...
Post by: Stitcherbob on January 13, 2015, 03:21:44 PM
...from Emo Phillips
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"
 He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in
God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A
Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said,
"Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I
said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said,
"Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or
Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern
Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative
Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great
Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He
said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of

· When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a
 new bike. Then I realized, the Lord doesn't work that way. So I just
stole one and asked Him to forgive me ... and I got it!
· So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon."
· A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I
said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said,
 "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..."
· I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.
· When I was a kid my dad would say, "Emo, do you
believe in the Lord?" I'd say, "Yes!" He'd say, "Then stand up and shout
 Hallelujah!" So I would ... and I'd fall out of the roller coaster