Rules and General Info => Site Questions and Announcements => Topic started by: Steve on December 19, 2010, 08:12:02 PM

Title: It's that time again
Post by: Steve on December 19, 2010, 08:12:02 PM
Guys. . .  I just learned of a close friend who committed suicide.  This is the time of year when people get depressed because they think they failed.  My friend did have problems, hadn't worked in a year, has a sick child, and it all stressed his marriage.
Each of us deal with this stuff in different ways.  I am asking all of you to not go into a shell.  Reach out!  Talk to people.  Vent, Lash, whatever.  But don't get yourselves into a rut and so depressed you do something foolish.  Isolating yourselves from everyone is the wrong thing to do.  I know my door is always open.
My friend knew he was in trouble, but didn't seek me or any of his other friends, or his wife.  He closed himself up from everyone.  Today Mark drank some poison and was pernounced dead at 4:30 this afternoon.  I last spoke with him 3 weeks ago.
Guys.  Things are tough.  We're all in it.  But nothing is that bad. 
If you know someone in trouble, reach out to them.  Make it a good holiday for all.
POLARACO2010-12-20 01:14:02
Title: It's that time again
Post by: Brian on December 19, 2010, 09:08:22 PM
Sorry to hear about your friend Steve.  

All good advice....lets all help each other, and others, year round....not just this time of year.

Title: It's that time again
Post by: firedome on December 20, 2010, 03:49:10 AM
That is terrrible. Your advice is right on, folks get depressed and
take a permanent solution for a temporary problem.  A very good
friend, the Publisher of the electronics magazine I used to write for,
one of the most knowledgeable in the world in his area of expertise,
commited suicide at age 60 in Feb '09.  When the magazine's
circulation went down sharply, like many have, he stopped publishing,
he couldn't refund subscription money he owed the subscribers, the
stock market had tanked, his CA real estate had depreciated, he lost
much of his investments. Things would have eventually improved, he
could have worked it all out eventually, but he chose not to. It was a
senseless loss to his family and friends. I talked to him a few weeks
before, no-one had any idea, but I still feel guilty, wondering what I
could have said or done to help him.

Title: It's that time again
Post by: Jason Goldsack on December 20, 2010, 01:22:26 PM
I was out of work for a year and a half, worked part time for my wife and sold all of my toys to pay the bills.

Never did I think to leave my family... people need to work with their doctors. I found out in 2005 that I had suffer from severe depression and anxiety. Without the help of my doctor and my medication things could have been much worse during my time not working.

We have to leave the "man" mentality that we are strong and deal with things on our own. Sometimes people need to just get the help they need. I teach my kids to be open and tell me if they feel down.

I'm sorry for your loss Steve

Title: It's that time again
Post by: Bob Schaefer on December 20, 2010, 01:47:26 PM
I agree. The advice is spot on. I have a friend whose brother took his life a month or so ago. It's just not the right answer. It doesn't just hurt the one who does it. It hurts everyone they leave behind.
I'm sorry you lost your friend, and I'm glad to have friends to reach out to. We are all in it, just like you said, and at some point, most of us will be out of it, in a good way. Until then, we need our friends, we need our families, and for those that believe, we need our faith.
Thanks for put this out here.
Title: It's that time again
Post by: Snotty on December 21, 2010, 08:35:29 PM
Good words, all.  Sorry for the loss Steve.
Title: It's that time again
Post by: Tom Dawson on December 23, 2010, 12:53:14 PM
Sorry to hear about your friend Steve, one of mine did the same thing 3 years ago, left behind a wife and 2 kids, a boy and a girl, it is just sad when that happens. One thing to remember, the sun will always shine tomorrow and there is nothing that bad to want to leave God's beauty.


Title: It's that time again
Post by: Jason Goldsack on December 23, 2010, 12:58:28 PM
My daughters best friend had her dad kill himself 8 years ago when she was still a baby. It is sad he never got to see the great kid she became. 

Title: It's that time again
Post by: Leaburn Patey on December 23, 2010, 03:03:10 PM
Sorry to hear about that Steve.
Growing up,I was taught to never give up.I do remember a few friends who chose the easy way out,or just gave up.
Not is not in my nature.
I am forever gratefull to my Mom who got me to move away from home 18 years ago.
I probably would be dead if it was not for her.


This time of year is always tough on everybody.
I am no exception.
Instead of getting all depressed,I think how grateful I am for what I already have--and have achieved this year,and what goals I can achieve the next year.
I took a big risk a year ago leaving my job to try something different.
I was hoping to make more money to better support my family.
I was promised a big steak ,they paid me in Kraft Dinner.
It was an experience,but a huge financial mistake that cost me two cars,and a crappy credit score so bad I am unable to borrow.

I am so far in the hole--even the cat tries to cover me up!!LOL!!

I gained some experience being a parent to my 16 year old nephew who moved in  with us from out of town.

I grabbed the oppourtunity to buy the Waygun,thanks to Ross' tip,and support from my wife and friends.
Life is what you make it,people.
Take away the material things,family and friends are most important to you-and they are who makes you into a better person.
So,never hesitate to talk to them,or ask for help.
Without them,you have nothing.
Title: It's that time again
Post by: firedome on December 24, 2010, 05:17:24 AM
"Without them,you have nothing" Amen.

Title: It's that time again
Post by: Robert Rottman on December 24, 2010, 05:37:39 AM

I've been reading much more than posting here lately. Bottom line: I know there's some great Mopar people on this forum. Steve, I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend. Some of you have mentioned faith as being important. I certainly agree. Life is surely a gift from our Creator. When feeling despair, go to Him first with your problems. He's always quick to listen especially when we're desperate. I know I would'nt be here typing this if I didn't go to Him nearly 14 years ago. And as Steve and others have with your friends and loved ones...never isolate yourself. Our hobby and this forum have a great purpose in that it can keep us involved with others. Think about that the next time your old Mopar breaks and you don't know how to fix it. It just may be a blessing! I know many of you have been right there to help me when I didn't have the know-how to fix it...I remember Steve and Leeburn were ready to jump in their cars and drive hundreds of miles to come up and help me!  Lee even personally helped me get the parts I needed at Forkey's in Clayton, NY. I will never forget that. I remember Chris way out in AZ nailed what was wrong with my 69 318 when it gulped all the coolant in the radiator. I surely am grateful for good friends and also for those of you I have never met. What a great time of year to reflect on stuff like this as we celebrate Christmas...I hope you all can reflect in the same way. ( Merry Christmas and may God bless you all.