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Author Topic: The 2008 Darwin Awards  (Read 239 times)

Stitcherbob

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The 2008 Darwin Awards
« on: March 07, 2009, 02:37:21 PM »

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the
    Darwin Awards are
    bestowed, honoring the least evolved among
us.


    Here are the glorious top 10 winners in order:




    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at
    his intended victim
    during a hold-up in Long Beach , California ,
    would-be robber James
    Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
    He peered down the
    barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it
    worked.






    And now, the honorable mentions:






    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger
    in a meat-cutting
    machine and, after a little shopping around,
    submitted a claim to his
    insurance company. The company expecting negligence
    sent out one of
    its men to have a look for himself. He tried the
    machine and he also
    lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.






    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a
    space for his car
    during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his
    vehicle to find a woman
    had taken the space. Understandably, he shot
    her.


    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
    Zimbabwean bus
    driver found that the 20 mental patients he was
    supposed to be
    transporting from Sarare to Bulawayo had escaped.
    Not wanting to admit
    his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus
    stop and offered
    everyone waiting there a free ride. He then
    delivered the passengers
    to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
    patients were very
    excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
    deception wasn't
    discovered for 3 days.


    5. An American teenager was in the hospital
    recovering from serious
    head wounds received from an oncoming train. When
    asked how he
    received the injuries, the lad told police that he
    was simply trying
    to see how close he could get his head to a moving
    train before he was
    hit.


    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a
    $20 bill on the
    counter, and asked for change. When the clerk
    opened the cash drawer,
    the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in
    the register, which
    the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
    from the clerk and
    fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
    total amount of cash he
    got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a
    gun at you and gives
    you money, is a crime committed?]


    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty
    badly. He decided
    that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
    liquor store window,
    grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder
    block and heaved it
    over his head at the window. The cinder block
    bounced back and hit the
    would-be thief in the head, knocking him
    unconscious. The liquor store
    window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was
    caught on videotape.


    8. As a female shopper exited a New York
    convenience store, a man
    grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
    immediately, and the
    woman was able to give them a detailed description
    of the snatcher.
    Within minutes, the police apprehended the
    snatcher. They put him in
    the car and drove back to the store. The thief was
    then taken out of
    the car and told to stand there for a positive ID.
    To which he
    replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. that's the lady
    I stole the purse
    from.'


    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a
    man walked into a
    Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M.,
    flashed a gun, and
    demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he
    said he couldn't
    open the cash register without a food order. When
    the man ordered
    onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available
    for breakfast. The
    man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY
    AWARD WINNER]


    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a
    motor home parked
    on Seattle street , he got much more than he
    bargained for. Police
    arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled
    up next to a motor
    home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said
    that the man
    admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged
    his siphon hose into
    the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner
    of the vehicle
    declined to press charges saying that it was the
    best laugh he'd ever
    had.

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Tom Dawson

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The 2008 Darwin Awards
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2009, 06:50:47 PM »

Thanks Bob I loved #10
                  Tom
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James Brown Jr,

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The 2008 Darwin Awards
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2009, 07:19:44 PM »

number 10 is funny as hell, wait they are all damn funny
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Steve

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The 2008 Darwin Awards
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2009, 07:23:21 PM »

Yeah
 
#10 sounds like something you would do.
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firedome

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The 2008 Darwin Awards
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2009, 06:39:13 AM »

That driver in #4 was brilliant! 3 days is plenty enough time to get away...

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